So, the Holiday Season is here. Finally! With it, come countless of parties you have to attend, all of which are starting to make you nervous. If that is the case (or if you just want to learn about how to look powerful), keep on reading! The tips presented here are meant to help you look powerful and in control of the situation. (They will also come in handy in a variety of other life circumstances)
Funny thing about power: you don’t have to actually have it, you just have to look the part. So how can you do that?
1) Start by Making Sure You Look Good
And by that, I don’t mean you have to go all out and start wearing formal suits or dresses 24/7. Simply make sure that you are well-groomed and wearing clothes that suit you well. If your appearance is sloppy, the tips that are coming up might not have the desired effect.
2) Don’t Slouch! Your Posture Invites Different Types of Responses
Slouching is like screaming out to the people around you that you have no confidence. I will push it a little further (though not unrealistically), and say that when you appear to have no confidence, you will get less respect from the people around you. So slouching -> (possibly) less respect.
Not good. Not good. Instead of that, start standing straight. Your back will thank you, and so will your self –esteem, which will be heightened after seeing how much better you are treated.
3) Smile More Often
Now, don’t overdo it, as you might give off the impression that you are being insincere, impolite, or just not very gifted, mentally speaking. It can also make you appear exactly the opposite of what you want, as smiling too often is typically seen in people who are dependent on others’ approval. However, if you manage to hit the right amount, you will give off the impression of being more pleasant than you would if you were to keep a straight face.
Smiling just enough isn’t that hard, once you’ve got the hang of it. Look for clues in the conversation, such as when someone is telling you something they think is really exciting and overall awesome. Smiling will make that person want to go on, labeling you a pleasant person in the process.
Do you know what pleasant people have in common with powerful people? Most powerful people are pleasant people! As surprising as that may sound, it is true. If how charming and easy-going political candidates appear to be doesn’t play a role in power, then why are all of them so concerned about keeping up appearances and making themselves look super nice?
4) Say what’s on Your Mind
Have you noticed that powerful people don’t wait for others to ask them to tell them their opinion? Instead, they give their opinion. Why? Because they value their own thoughts and opinions so much that they believe others simply must hear them too. That’s what confidence does, and despite the fact that it might be annoying sometimes, it actually works.
5) Connect with the People around You
Connection can be established in a number of ways. Smiling, which I just discussed above, is one of them. Shaking hands is another. Yet another one is making sure that there is no object between you and the person you are talking to.
I talked about placing objects between the person one is talking to in my lying-detection post. However, objects placed between two individuals don’t always signal dishonest behavior. It may just be a way of distancing oneself from the other person, due to shyness, perhaps.
Make sure you avoid it as much as possible. Keep in mind that a glass of wine can also count as an object between you and the other person. While you can’t grab the glass out of the other person’s hand if they happen to keep holding it between you two, you can make sure that you are not holding your glass like that either.
So…why does power, or rather, the appearance of power, matter so much? I’m not sure myself, but I believe it has to do with the fact that someone who looks powerful appears to others as a leader. If you had the choice between spending your time with a leader or a follower, wouldn’t you choose to spend it with a leader? Perhaps you may think you wouldn’t, but you might be wrong. We are programmed to want to be around leaders, because a good leader means more chances of survival in the wilderness. Though consciously we may have gotten pass that, somewhere deep down we still continue to think that way.
So, have you had any instances that made you think of just how much the appearance of power matters? Or have you any suggestions for why appearing to have power matters so much to us?
Leave your thoughts in the comments! I always love reading them 🙂
Before I go, I just want to wish you a Merry Christmas! Enjoy those parties and don’t forget to put these tips to good use.
- Smiling comes from within… (iamdawnbrown.wordpress.com)